I’ve been re-reading Daniel Shaw’s book: ‘Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation’ (Note – it’s highly psychoanalytic and meant for therapists). Anyway, it’s full of real gems; Here’s one:
“One step along the way toward attaining freedom from emotional enslavement to the traumatizer can be the demystification of the traumatizer’s power”.
Specifically, it can be helpful to really understand how a particular idea or sentiment was transmitted to you. What words did your Mother use? What non-verbal communication was used? Knowing how an idea was transmitted is powerful. It changes it from some ghost-like belief to the idea that this is something that was communicated as gospel, but just might not be in the end.