Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Your parent was a narcissist.
And that meant you never got to truly discover your own likes and dislikes or follow your own path.
There wasn’t any opportunity to find out who you are because all of your ‘preferences’ were dictated to you, rather than your parent trying to find out who you actually are.
Attempts to pursue an interest that didn’t work for them were met with indifference or disapproval. It was Dehumanizing.
Some of their behavior seems utterly bizarre.
One client said, “My father showed up to my college graduation wearing a cap and gown. He wasn’t graduating. It was unsettling having to walk around campus with him and run into friends. This day was supposed to be about my achievement. It just didn’t make any sense.”
That experience affected his behavior in current relationships, at work, and with friends.
Your partner is a narcissist.
A narcissistic partner can spoil even the most joyful occasion by becoming unreasonable or picking a fight with you.
They never consider your feelings, ice you out, and ignore you for days if you fail to comply with their wishes or views.
They can rage at you at the drop of a hat, and it shakes you for days, but they’re ‘over it’ within the hour.
As a result of these experiences, you’ve become depressed and anxious, and you don’t like the direction this is going.
You’re trying to break free from the abuse.
And need help in setting boundaries, in deciding what to do, how to deal with this challenging and toxic person in your life, and in healing from years spent subjected to unreasonable behavior.
This is where therapy can help.
What does healing look like?
There was typically no way to process your feelings when you were going through the trauma of Narcissistic Abuse. Healing involves having the opportunity to empty the warehouse of emotions – anger, hurt, and frustration – by talking about the challenging situations you were subject to, and actually letting yourself feel what you felt in those moments.
Part of what we’ll discuss is how to approach the difficult person who may still be in your life, and determining what boundaries are feasible.
We will also keep an eye on how past traumas are being acted out in current relationships and work on not displacing feelings onto them. We do this by first identifying current reactions that might seem ‘out of whack’ or not in proportion to a current situation.
As a psychoanalytically trained therapist, I can help identify a previous dynamic with a parent or partner that may be fueling a current reaction, and assist you in processing the past so that it doesn’t become unconsciously associated with a current problem.
Be a good friend to yourself.
Having a private space where the focus is on you and your experience and feelings is healing in itself. It may feel unreal or even challenging to have someone genuinely trying to understand your experience, emotions, and wishes, but it’s an essential part of the healing process.
Take a step to begin to understand the abuse you have suffered, start healing, and change your dynamics with friends, family, relationships, and at work.
Please complete the contact form or schedule a phone consultation using the link provided.
Also see information about my Group for Adult Children of Narcissists.